In the Kansas City airport....

Looking for Larry Johnson, I'm gonna try and convince him to start twittering again...

Happy Holiday's = PC BS

Collaborators -

It's nice to partake again. Big up's to the Puck for keeping up on recent events, and doubly so for finding a pic of my girl - too bad I don't know the douche grabbing on to her...I'll have to sort that out on my own later. Other than that mess, I recently rediscovered that Arizona is still a nice winter destinatation, and that it's warmth this time of year doesn't get old.

Great to see college bowls get underway. As always, the amount of bowl games is perplexing - obviously it's great that the sponsors can throw at least $300,000 toward the schools and conferences competing in each, but I'd love to see the books on how that's economically feasible between pairs of 6-6 or 7-5 teams. I am humored by the competition between the Little Cesars and PappaJohns.com Bowls....I think they should have to play in the same time slot to battle for ratings, winning team from the highest rated game taking the spoils from both bowl games! I'm sure after I achieve higher success later on I will wax eloquent regarding my bowl selections for the season...they just need time to develop.

In related news, my NFL fantasy team doesn't need time to develop as they are in the league championship this coming week. As last years defending champ, I've surely established some amount of prowess in this area of statistical analysis. Feel free to drop questions for your players in the last week on the message boward below, I'd love to answer them. Regarding the actual football competition itself, next week will be interesting - the NFC is only waiting to determine whether Philly or Dallas wins the East, while the AFC has a shitshow of teams competing to the wire for the wild card spots under numerous circumstances (64 for thsoe scoring at home). And for those concerned, don't worry; the Rams only need to lose 1 more game to lock up the first draft pick. I complimented their fans in the Phoenix airport yesterday, because it obviously takes a tremendous passion to be an away supporter for that franchise.

I always feel bad for the college basketball players that never get a winter break like other students. At least they have games that postpone finals for them, or let them take them on the road (I'm sure that's a great perk).

Boxing Day fixtures in the EPL are fantastic for the fans, it makes up for not having matches in other leagues to watch. Don't look now, but Portsmouth have decided against indifference to picking up points, and Birmingham is making a run at the biggun's up top thanks to an airtight defense.

There's always one miserable team from La Liga every year. Xerex, congratulations - you're this season's punching bag. Hope you're enjoying the top flight bonus every other year.

Can Bundesliga fans take the league seriously when it holds less matches and takes its hiatus right when fans are most apt to watch over the holiday season? At least we know the player's union is doing its job in that league, good for them I suppose...

Someone tell the Serie A to slow down the play and keep more possession. For all the fans that "love the possession game", look what you've encouraged...I hope you're ashamed, that used to be the world's best league.

Big up's to Banfield for reaching their first championship in 117 years. There's no jumping on that bandwagon - you're either a lifer for them or knew nothing about it from the start.

Lastly, and aside from athletics, some political correctness nonesense needs settled - stop saying "Happy Holiday's" around Christmas time. If you know one of the 5 million celebrating Kwanzaa this time of year, wish them happiness more specifically. Other than that, you should be smart enough to know that either A) Chanukuh has already passed, or B) you should really just wish people a Merry Christmas.

God bless, eat your vegetables
The Dodgy Keeper

Sorry for the break

The Puck's Christmas Vacation:

The Dodgy Keepers Christmas Vacation:



My bad for the sparse postings lately. Here at Dodgy as Feck, we do like to party and we enjoy the holiday's. So I'll be absent while I'm snowed under (and visiting my O.G. of a Grandpa). I'm never one to leave a good image unposted and since I found this map of where I'm at, I have to put it up.

Vimeo is the Youtube of Sick Soccer Mixtapes

Top Skills Volume 18 from Torresinho on Vimeo.

It's no Viva Futbol, but it'll do.

Stuart Holden is a Goofy kid

I'm off for a couple days to see the lady friend. I leave you with a national team player dressed up like an elf... can't say i never did anything for you.

Music Thursday

I've decided that in my effort to broaden the horizons of this blog I'm gonna try to feature one song a week that I'm currently digging. On that note...

Do you ever hear a song and immediately think "this probably has a pretty great video. I thought this about this song, and I was right (and if you're a heterosexual male, I think you'll agree). I've always liked the stuff that Akon comes out with and although I'd never heard of David Guetta, I'm liking him too. Finally, I think we've all tried to find the words to describe a girl without being disrespectful.

So that was the last time Liverpool won a game...

The Kop | Panorama 1964 from WhatEverTrevor.co.uk on Vimeo.

So I make it a rule to rarely poach two video's from the same blog in close proximity, but today I'm making an exception. Mainly, because this blog (I'll give you a hint, its the only soccer blog I'm on record as "following") had some gems today, the other one being directly below this post (and I could have made it three videos).
This one is great for a couple reasons. First of all, I'm a Liverpool fan. Secondly, It's awesome to see English stadiums prior to the installation of the current all seater set up. In this video, you can see the legendary "terraces". To give you a little frame of reference the Terraces were simply series of concrete steps that spectators were allowed to stand on while watching the games. These were typically the cheaper seats where the younger and poorer fans watched. The trouble with the terraces was also the attraction to many clubs, you could pack a ton of people into them, making them almost as valuable as the more expensive bleachers or seats. The concrete steps would become slippery and people would be crushed once they fell. The proverbial nail in the terraces coffin was the Hillsborough Disaster, killing 96 Liverpool fans. After the report on the disaster was published, the terraces were largely phased out and replaced with seats.
So enjoy the video.

Now this is how you make a mix tape

Not much I can say about this.

Call me the Heisman Hater

Lemme start out this post by pointing out that I think the wrong guy won. Ingram had a couple good games and a couple average games. Toby Gerhart had more total yards, more TD's, and you can double the yards Ingram got in his worst game and get close to what Gerhart got in his worst game. But this post isn't about who got the Heisman this year, it's about how the Heisman is a fraud every year. While we all should be used to College Football being the biggest joke in American sports (fyi- College Football is the only sport in the world that decides it's championship not on the field of play) and every award that's voted on is gonna have some controversy, the Heisman is just ridiculous. I have outlined three of my reasons below:

• Only the players on the good teams are considered. Dan LeFevour is the only QB in NCAA history with 12,000 passing yards and 2,500 rushing yards. Those are epic numbers. I know he plays for Central Michigan but you can't deny those numbers and he has never been on any serious list of contention. One of the major knocks against Toby Gerhart is that his team didn't win out. Although those loses had very little to do with the performance of Gerhart (in one of the games, he lit Cal up for 165 total yards, another he got 141 total yards). Furthermore, only some positions are considered. The Heisman Trophy, with one exceptions, sort of (Charles Woodson is the only defensive player to win, but he won largely based on his punt return abilities and his occasional appearances as a wide out), has always been awarded to a WR, a QB or a RB. Can you really tell me that "the outstanding college football player in the United States" has always been playing one of those three positions?
  
• You can't compare the Stat's. NCAA football is not the NFL. With 144 teams in the Football Championship Sub-division, the competition that Mark Ingram, Toby Gerhart, Colt McCoy and Ndamukong Suh played against can't be weighed against each other. Not only did Stanford never play Alabama, Stanford never played a team that played Alabama. How do you compare the SEC with the PAC 10? How do you compare the 99 yards Ingram rushed for against Tennessee with the 96 yards Gerhart rushed for at Oregon State? It's impossible, these are two very different programs with very different defensive talent and schemes. The only halfway fair way to compare two RB's is to see how they perform against the same defense. But all this shows is how that player performed on that day, not how his season went.
  
• You can't compare the positions. So far in this post I've only talked about two Heisman candidates, Mark Ingram, a running back, and Toby Gerhart, a running back. I did this because its pretty impossible to compare Toby Gerharts stat's and performance against Colt McCoy's or Ndamukong Suh's stats with Mark Ingram's. It's tough to compare how Gerhart performed against Oregon State and how Ingram performed against Tennessee but its totally impossible to compare Suh's four tackles at Oklahoma with Colt McCoys four TD's against Kansas.

So how does the Heisman get awarded? The media chooses the candidates and therefore chooses the winner. Mark Ingram became a serious candidate after his great performance against Florida, when the media, and therefore the country started to pay attention. Anybody with a computer and a TV can quickly research the best players in the NFL. With literally thousands of college football players, nobody is gonna spend the time looking at thousands of stat's and thousands of performances unless their paid to do it (or have no life).

The Yanks/Mixtapes are coming

Andy Samberg is one funny cracker.

Where's Hans Blix when you need him?

So I saw this story awhile ago but just put everything together. North Korea, and more specifically, its Chucky lookalike leader, have reportedly decided that they will censor the world cup. Their plan is to only show the games and results that show their team in a favorable light. Well this plan may work if they were in a group with the Solomon Islands, Charlie Weis and the Nets, but being they are in a group with the Ivory Coast, Brazil and Portugal, this might be tough. How exactly do they plan on doing this? I'd put the odds of North Korea scoring a goal at maybe twenty to one.
I suggest an alternative. Instead of censoring the games, just photoshop/fudge a couple details. When Didier Drogba scores in the 3rd minute, just put up a fact box that says while Didier Drogba is well known as one of the best center forwards in soccer, he was also the fourty fourth president of the United States. When Cristiano Ronaldo dives like it's spring break in cancun, just point out that he had relations with the american anti-christ "Paris Hilton". Finally, when Kaka finishes off his hat trick, just photoshop Dick Cheney's face over his.

Can't say i never helped you out Kimmy.

So this is the best a man can get?

So let me get this straight...

Reger Federer is 7-13 vs. Nadal all time, and is struggling to stay fit and keep his form.

Thierry "Hand"ry doesn't appear regularly for Barcelona, and advances his country to the World Cup in doubious fashion.

And Tiger Woods is throwing his clubs, cursing at his galleries, bangin' chicks on road trips behind his wife's back (not to mention not wrapping up or asking if they're on the pill)

I better hear 3 good reasons why I shouldn't give my dad a Schick Quattro for Christmas...

Whitestripes Epidemic

Please edit the following timelilne if incorrect:

2003 - Song "7 nation army" debuts by wwhitestripes
2004 - Named best rock song of the year by grammy award committee
2005 - Sweeps through european ultras in various forms
2007 - Added to themes played by penn states blue band at american college football competitions
2009 - Song spread... by various other universities (i.e. michigan, ole miss, arizona) in the american college football scene

I love college

In case you didn't know, Florida basically lost any shot at a national title because their stud defensive lineman decided he likes drinking (hey!) on a weeknight more than he likes himself, his teammates, his university (etc., etc., etc...) Not just drunk and being startled at the time, but woken up by the cops at a stop light -not to mention the obvious aftermath of being an athlete on top of it all.

Since he was held back from even travelling, what do you think he did? Perhaps taste the salt of his tears as they slowly dissolved like the title hope for Florida? Or perhaps he delved into another set of evenings with alcohol? Food for thought, I wonder how alcohol tastes after that evening? Everytime you drink do you think of a national championship being wasted away?

Those better have better been the best tasting drinks you ever consumed and the best night you ever had out Carlos...

Strike a pose fellas...

Sports Fans -

We here at "Dodgy as Feck" encourage our readers to make educated decisions in the critical areas of their livelihood...like who they think should win the Heisman. In the race that is arguably the most even (not to mention the least compelling) in recent history, we offer the following statistical analysis of the Heisman Trophy candidates listed in this weeks poll.


Tim Tebow, QB
Team record: 12-1 (8-0 SEC)
Passer Rating: 155.59 (65.2%, 5 int)
Total Yards: 3,272 (2,413 pass, 859 rush)
Total TD: 31 (18 pass, 13 rush)
Best game: 311 total yards, 81.0%, 5 TD, 0 int, 216.50 rating; 37-10 win vs. Florida St.
Worst game: 215 total yards, 54.5%, 1 TD, 2 int, 84.86 rating; 29-19 win at Mississippi St.
Form: Plagued by lofty expectiations coming into season; played within team's system, but rarely exceptional, and especially unimpressive in late loss to Alabama.

Colt McCoy, QB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 Big 12)
Passer Rating: 147.46 (70.5%, 12 int)
Total Yards: 3,860 (3,512 pass, 348 rush)
Total TD: 30 (27 pass, 3 rush)
Best game: 425 total yards, 78.0%, 5 TD, 0 int, 191.38 rating; 51-20 win vs. Kansas
Worst game: 160 total yards, 53.8%, 1 TD, 1 int, 84.53 rating; 16-13 win vs. Oklahoma
Form: Solid throughout; exceptional vs. Texas A&M, but unimpressive in games vs. Oklahoma and Nebraska.

Mark Ingram, RB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 SEC)
Rush Yards: 1,542 (6.2 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 322 (10.7 per catch)
Total TD: 18 (15 rush, 3 recieving)
Best game: 269 total yards, 10.3 per carry, 1 TD; 20-6 win vs. Soth Carolina
Worst game: 51 total yards, 1.9 per carry, 0 TD; 26-21 win at Auburn
Form: Developed increasing reputation throughout season, 2 minor hiccups vs. Auburn and Arkansas, won SEC Championship Game.

Toby Gerhart, RB
Team record: 8-4 (6-3 Pac 10)
Rush Yards: 1,736 (5.6 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 149 (14.9 per catch)
Total TD: 26 (all rush)
Best game: 223 yards rushing, 5.9 per carry, 3 TD; 51-42 win vs. Oregon
Worst game: 94 total yards, 4.8 per carry, 0 TD; 17-24 loss at Wake Forest
Form: Developed increasing reputation throughout season; 2 minor hiccups vs. Oregon State and Wake Forest, exceptionally strong finish.

CJ Spiller, RB/KR
Team record: 8-5 (6-2 ACC)
Rush Yards: 1,145 (5.7 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 445 (13.5 per catch)
KO Return Yards: 714 (34.0 per return)
Punt Return Yards: 208 (23.11 per return)
Total TD: 21 (11 rush, 4 recieving, 4 KO ret, 1 punt ret, 1 pass)
Best game: 301 all purpose, 11.7 per carry, 4 TD; 33-38 loss vs. Georgia Tech
Worst game: 114 all purpose, 3.1 per carry, 1 TD; 34-21 win win vs. Virginia
Form: Arguably fastest candidate with highest big play potential. Relies on special teams contributions.

Ndamukong Suh, DT
Team Record: 9-4 (6-2 Big 12)
Sacks: 12
Tackles: 82
Solo: 50
Tackles for loss: 19.5
Hurries: 22
Passes defended: 12
FG Blocked: 3
Best game: 12 tackles (10 solo), 4.5 sacks, 2 hurries, 2 passes defended; 12-13 loss vs. Texas
Worst game: 4 tackles (all solo), 2 TFL, 4 hurries; 10-31 loss vs. Texas Tech
Form: Defensive coordinated conceded defense isn't set up for his stats, but for him to take on 2 to 3 players instead; Gained acclaim as year progressed, helping Huskers to wins in 5 of their last 6; Most outstanding performance in only loss during the stretch, Big 12 Championship Game.


Kellen Moore, QB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 WAC)
Passer Rating: 167.35 (64.8%, 3 int)
Pass Yards: 3,581
Total TD: 39 (38 pass, 1 rush)
Best game: 307 pass yards, 64.0%, 4 TD, 1 int, 211.95 rating; 48-0 win @ Miami (OH)
Worst game: 233 pass yards, 51.7%, 1 TD, 0 int, 130.59 rating; 52-21 win @ Utah State
Form: Solid throughout, albeit against weaker opposition.


If you think someone else is a quality candidate for consideration of the award, put it in the comment section along with why they are qualified.


Happy Monday all
The Dodgy Keeper

Be afraid Tiger...

Quick, name where Alcorn State is...

So I was looking over the basketball schedule of my beloved University of Kansas Jayhawks (although you might be confused by my colleagues several jabs at my following of the Golden Bears. I'm actually a fan of several colleges, Cal from my mother's side of the family, my grandpa worked there, and University of Kansas from my dad's side of the family, who are all from Kansas. And to make it all the more confusing, I didn't graduate from either.) and stumbled upon the score line that took place on December 2nd.
Alcorn State Braves- 31
Kansas Jayhawks- 98
How does that happen? There are so many facts from this game that are mind boggling that I feel i need to point out. First of all, It took the braves 15 minutes to get into double digits. I've literally grown beards in less time. At one point in the game, Alcorn State didn't score for seven minutes (at least the jayhawks did something during that time, scoring 37). This is boys playing against men or the nets playing against any other NBA team. Another thing I don't understand about this game, Alcorn State player Keith Searcy fouled out during this game. How does one foul out in this sort of a game? Without seeing this game, I'd assume that Alcorn State players were simply letting jayhawks run directly past them, while giving them a "good game" when they pass.
But I have to ask my dear jayhawks a question, why do you schedule this game? what's the point? Alcorn State isn't some sleeper that's just having a bad year. They've been bad for awhile. In the past ten years, they gotten to 10 win's 4 times. They haven't appoached a winning record since 2000. Last year they played two teams I've never even heard of and one I can't even guess how to prononce (William Carey and Tougaloo). Arkansas dropped 130 points on them earlier this year. I can't imagine that this gives your team confidence. It did give the guy at the end of Kansas's bench confidence that Bill Self still rembers his name (and on a side note, how low would your self esteem be if your you're a junior guard at KU and you only played 4 minutes? With 4 minutes left KU was up by 63, you could have put in George Jefferson and I in you still would have won by 40). In the long run, this game will probably lower your RPI, by a lot. This game only served to pad the stat's of the guard that's fifth on the depth chart (I'm talking about you Jordan Juenemann). Games like this don't give your trash minute dwellers any experience because there is no resemblance to a real game. Beat down Missouri or Nebraska and I'll be proud of you. Beat down Alcorn State (or the upcoming game against Radford) and I feel like I'm Nelson from the Simpson's.

Group of Death

I feel the need to reiterate this line of thought...

At the moment, Group D is my Group of Death, despite what the experts have claimed. In regards to how it stacks up with Group G, it has greater overall quality in each of the 4 slots (re: no pushover...yes, that means you North Korea). This is evidenced by Group G's average ranking of 26.75 (I know, it's that stupid Coca-Cola system, but still), versus an average of 21 for Group D. Likewise, when you match up similar seeds from Group D with Group B - Serbia is stronger than Greece, Ghana has more established players and better chemistry than Nigeria, Australia has been beating up on South Korea in AFC national team and club competitions, and Germany is certainly on better form than Argentina. Why is nobody talking about this group?

Think about this logically people...

Saturday recap

Enthusiasts -

A series of thoughts (chronologically organized) after Saturday's athletic activities...

- Portsmouths match early on proves once again that the ball never lies. (1:20 thru 2:10)

- Cesc and Lampard, you are both single handedly killing my chances in my paid EPL fantasy league...quit fecking up from the penalty spot!!!

- Cech: Dodgy as feck (even The Dodgy Keeper knows on a free kick, the keeper must cover their half while the wall gets the other, but that was basically down the center...if they get it up and down over it, good on 'em) Meanwhile in the rest of the match, it felt like the entire Chelsea squad picked up a caution in the loss to Man City.

- I bet my NCAA Men's Soccer bracket is in better shape than yours right now. Big ups to my boy at Akron for making it to the Final Four; now for the ACC portion of your non-conference schedule...

- Although I hate that conferences have championship games (I think everyone should play everyone once and that should suffice...which would mean no rediculous 12 team conferences), I found it neat that all 6 BCS conferences basically had conference championships late on. That being said, I also find it ironic that all were very competitive and came down to the last drive...except for the #1 vs. #2 matchup in the SEC?!

- Notre Dame, did you actually let your players decide whether they want to play in a bowl or not? You really have lost control...

- Tucsonans, how priceless was it watching the Wildcats beat USC at the Coliseum, then watch Jim Click accompany Mike Stoops during ABC's interview? (FYI, Click is a large regional car salesman) I would talk more about the Cats, but I'm still lamenting them being one play (out of many) away from going to the Rose Bowl.

As for the play of the day, have a look here for an extraordinary finish (despite the game not meaning much).


Somebody console The Puck and his Cal Golden Bears, it might be the Las Vegas Bowl for them. Enjoy the NFL.


Platapus, aka The Dodgy Keeper

Zach Galifianakis

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Can't really tell if this is real or fact... but it is funny, and also confirms my suspicion that Charlize Theron is South Africa's hottest meth addict.

Joakim Noah's feelings are hurt

You wouldn't like him when he gets angry. I'm pretty sure if anything started Shaq would just sit on him.

The Drogba Tree

Is Didier Drogba the next Bono? If so, I nominate Nicholas Annelka to change his name to The Edge.

Pointyball talk (I caved in)

Greetings intelectuals -

A few thoughts before tomorrow's American pointyball conference championships.

1) How did no BCS school figure out Dan LeFevour is a first rate athlete?
2) I hope my Wildcats can take down the Trojans in the Coliseum, and that the Golden Bears have trouble at Husky Stadium...The Puck won't like me for it though.
3) I can't decide whether I want Texas to fail miserably against Nebraska, or whether 5 teams should finish undefeated so that there's a concrete case for a playoff...(No, New Mexico State will not win on the smurf turf in Boise)
4) Florida vs. Alabama will be a great game, perhaps the biggest and best all season...and I still don't care.

I'll sort out my Heisman picks after the weekend. I'm still holding off on my rant regarding the Civil War...


Good evening all,
Platapus

Quick thought...

If England gets full points from the first two games, can we get john terry to play goalkeeper again against slovenia?

Well done FIFA, well done...

Greetings minions -

Welcome to "Dodgy as Feck", where myself and my co-creator The Puck will frequently share our thoughts on international athletics (chiefly at least, among assorted other topics). Likewise, through this media you can find yourself humored, question our lack of rational, say whatever you want in response...frankly, it doesn't matter. It's nice to have you along.

Obviously you all know that the draw for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa just came out. If not...you should probably catch up on athletic competition, generally speaking.

Before the draw, I have to say I was rather perplexed...CONCACAF teams could've gotten placed with CAF teams in Pot #2, right? There were 3 CONCACAF, 3 CONMEBOL, 5 CAF, and 5 AFC teams...since CONMEBOL was missing their top 2 seeded teams (Brazil, Argentina), were they really better than CONCACAF (US, Mexico, Honduras) and deserved to go in the same pot with the CAF teams? FIFA, you sat around and had meetings all week, yet still couldn't get things squared away (and that's not including your Thierry Hand-ry ordeal)...sort it the feck out. Other than that, my thoughts were that the Group of Death would have to include France, Portugal, or Serbia (...or all 3).

After the draw was released, my overall impressions by group:
A) The media keenly pointed out that no host has failed to get out of the group stage; I agree with them that South Africa won't make it, and sadly that's in an easy group too. I can't believe Mexico got this fortunate after looking so vulnerable in qualifying; I'll be embarassed for you if you don't qualify (and that's kind - typically I'd feel nothing toward your national side). If not, I'll be sure to pester your immigrated countrymen. Uruguay, count your lucky stars too, you're in the same boat as Mexico...I just know less immigrated countrymen of yours. And France - after all this trouble, you deserved the Group of Death the most. (And consider if the Irish had this spot? How mad are they right now...)

B) If there are 4 easy groups and 4 hard ones, this is a tough one. Argentina struggled through qualifying, but do you really want to line up against sky blue and white stripes on match day? I think not. South Korea is also a difficult side to match up with; obviously renowned for team speed, they are always well organized and close down ball and passing lanes well. Nigeria isn't nearly the side they used to be, but you never know which of these players will be the next big transfers in the European market. Although I couldn't think of even one player they had offhand (before "The Snake" keenly reminded me of Jon Mikel Obi), they are a group of raw talent not to be under estimated. Lastly, Greece famously won Euro 2004, and most of its players all play in the same league, know each other inside out, and are always well coached mentally and tactically. Any match in this group is critical to the overall outcome, but at least there there is some foreshadowing in one matchup...Ah, to relive the prowess of Batistuta...


C) Every World Cup needs at least one storyline with some politics behind it, and so far the opener of this match is it - the Yanks vs. the Red Coats (and I wonder if England will have to wear their red kits...?). Algeria advanced in a pressure situation over Egypt, so they aren't a pushover, but it seems they and Slov__ia (insert "en" where appropriate) relied on matches at home in order to qualify. Tough to see them making a splash at a neutral site.

D) Did any of these teams really want to draw one another? I highly doubt that. For obvious reasons, no one wants to play Germany when you look at their starting XI. Add their solid qualifying campaign and their current form, and they are as formidable as ever. Some would say Australia is the cupcake in the group, but in their first time in AFC they rolled through competition (Iraq, AFC Cup Champion; China, recent qualifier; Japan, traditional power) virtually unscathed. Serbia took the more talented athletes from Mentenegro and destroyed their group in UEFA qualifying, taking France to the brink. And Ghana is one of the CAF teams from Pot#3 that no one wanted to face. (Do you want to match up with Michael Essien? Got someone on your national team that can? Yeah, didn't think so...good luck with that.)

E) The Netherlands qualified before anyone else did I believe, and by the end of the World Cup you know that the player's on their side you don't know will be coveted by the allied Big 14 clubs in UEFA. Japan is a side similar to South Korea; fast and tactically sound. They've proven on the world stage that they are never a roll over. Similarly, despite the lack of names on this version of Cameroon's squad, they are all developed under the mindset of the "Indominable Lions". Surely Samuel Eto'o will take his last appearance on this stage with the ultimate seriousness, and you will see many faces from this side transfer to UEFA clubs after the tournament. Lastly, Denmark has the majority of its players playing domestically and they have a good understanding for one another. The Danish League's competitiveness in the UEFA Champions League indicates their potential.

F) Simply put, Italy: you belong in the same category as Mexico as well. I can heckle your immigrated countrymen as well, but because of my heritage I'd like to stray from this if possible. That being said, if you fail miserably, I won't feel sorry for Giuseppe Rossi. (NOT ONE FECKING BIT!!!) Paraguay always plays well as a cohesive unit, look for them to do well after a solid qualifying campaign. New Zealand, good luck; hopefully this time when you score 3 on Italy, you don't give up 4 (and 2 in the final minutes nonetheless...see 2009 Confederations Cup warmup). Slov__ia (use "ak" this time kids) could quietly sneak up on any of these teams here, as it achieved certain impressive results in qualifying.

G) I don't want to add more hype than the media has already brought to this group, although it's easy to see why. Brazil's play is like many of the internationally acclaimed women that come from there - typically easy on the eyes, usually do good work in their field, and more often than not produce results that meet expectations. That being said, they will have to compete with the Ivory Coast and Portugal. See my "Essien" statement above and consider Drogba and Toure comparable. Add in an undefeated qualifying run and add an estimate for the talent that isn't a household name yet, and you're stirring a pot on the verge of boiling over. Despite Portugal's struggle to qualify, you know the matchup between the Portugese countries here will be compelling. If someone can get under Cristiano's skin, I wouldnt be shocked if it's Lucio or another Brazilian defender. Notice how I didn't say anything about competition with North Korea? You probably figured it wasn't worth it either...

H) Here's my preliminary line -
Spain, Pld-3, W-3, D-0, L-0, GF-10, GA-1, GD-+9, Pts-9. Cakewalk, even when the other Spanish-speaking sides solve their mysterious lisp. The Swiss, while being at a linguistic disadvantage against the other Spanish-speakers, will hold their own with a young squad. Chile had a surprisingly strong qualifying run, and can also make a legitimate run to get out of the group with a series of young talent that has done well during recent youth international tournaments. As for Hondouras...well, without major international experience on the roster, they might be best off trying to fend off being overwhelmed by the big stage and just enjoy the event and the national recognition that comes with it.


As 6 months pass, I'm sure we will all analyze more and perspectives will change.

At the moment, Group D is my Group of Death, despite what the experts have claimed. In regards to how it stacks up with Group G, it has greater overall quality in each of the 4 slots (re: no pushover...yes, that means you North Korea). This is evidenced by Group G's average ranking of 26.75 (I know, it's that stupid Coca-Cola system, but still), versus an average of 21 for Group D. Likewise, when you match up similar seeds from Group D with Group B - Serbia is stronger than Greece, Ghana has more established players and better chemistry than Nigeria, Australia has been beating up on South Korea in AFC national team and club competitions, and Germany is certainly on better form than Argentina. Why is nobody talking about this group?

Anyway, in regard to major American sports, I considered discussing some pointyball, particularly that of the Civil War in my former home state. However, with college games yet to play this weekend and bowl season around the corner, I'm sure I will have plenty more to say later on. Maybe my fine comerade will even address it then again...


Enjoy the conference championships,
Platapus (aka The Dodgy Keeper)

Knee Jerk Draw Reactions

So I've gotten to digest the draw for a couple hours and here are my not very well researched, immediate reactions:

• The draw seemed pretty fair to most (as long as you don't speak portugese). Every group seems to have the one favorite, the one team that probably will advance and then two teams most people will count out (see groups A, C, D, E, F and H).
• Can we start an online petition to require both teams to wear wooden boots for the Denmark vs. Netherlands fixture?
• Did Charlize Theron seemed a little high to anybody else?
• Game's I'm most excited to watch: Argentina vs. Greece, can Maradona figure out how to coach a soccer team and unpark the bus that Greece will have parallel parked in front of the goal? America vs. England, can we get those goofy guys who dress up like minutemen for New England Revolution games to travel? Brazil vs. Ivory Coast, Drogba (who is both in form and becoming strangly likable) and Kalou going against Kaka and Luis Fabiano, that's gonna be a good game.
• Team's I think are gonna disappoint: I'm gonna go out on a "lamb" here and say that Germany is gonna be surprised. I think that Ghana and Serbia are underrated. Also, Germany was largely helped by playing at home in 2006. I think the Ivory Coast is gonna move on, probably surprising Portugal. I'm not sold on Ronaldo's ability to show up on international duty.
  
• The US needs to figure out who are gonna be playing outside backs. I get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking of joe cole, ashley cole and theo walcott running at jonathan bornstein and steve cherundolo. Paging Senor Edgar.
• My sleeper: I think Honduras are going to surprise and advance. I think they underacheived in qualifying and central american venues are good preperation for world cup's.
• My world cup betting tip: Always pick the team with the most connections to Sven Ericksson.... unless its mexico, then pick the other team.

I'll probably think of some other thoughts later.