CollegeFootball All-Name Honorees

Since it's the end of the college football season, we here at Dodgy as Feck have decided to compile our All-Name Team. While we moderately analyzed the players' performance this season, we were more interested in how their name's looked in the program instead. So without further adieu...


Offense

QB - Jim Bob Cooter, Tennessee (Needless to say, campus stud and this team's captain)
(Backups)
Nick Cannon, Tulane (Guess he got tired of Wild 'n Out)
Colt McCoy, Texas (Would you want anyone else to go to Texas?)
Roley Skinner, Wake Forest (Yeesh..)
Ryan Mallett, Arkansas (Oww..)
Tony Pike, Cincinatti (Just gore me while you're at it...)

RB - Donald Buckram, UTEP (Surely he can hit the hole hard)
RB - Mister Simpson, Michigan ("The fumes are making me dizzy!")
OT - Kyle Sackrider, Michigan State (I'd hate to know what his celebration is after a pancake...)
OG - Jerrod Gooch, Texas Tech (Also uses a post-pancake celebration)
C - Chief Kickingstallionsims C, Alabama State (If he does that to horses, imagine how he blocks)
OG - Nick Bigrigg, Kent State (It's obvious what he's driving around campus)
OT - King Dunlap, Auburn (You know what size bed he sleeps on)
TE - Ryan Allgood, Oklahoma (Safe hands I'm sure)
WR - De'Cody Fagg, Florida State (More durable than a bundle of sticks)
WR - Co-Eric Riley, Mississippi State (We'd send his brother out with him as twins right, but we only found one...)

Defense

DE Evander Holyfield, Auburn (Offensive linemen, watch your earholes!)
DT Tez Doolittle, Auburn (I'm sure he occupies blockers despite low stats)
DE Colin Ferrell, Kent State (Ha!)
LB Prince Kwateng, Northwestern
LB Sir Darean Adams, Michigan State (Please address our linebacking corps with respect!)
LB Mister Alexander, Florida State
LB Lucious Pusey, Eastern Illinois (We're assuming he's hetero...)
CB Justin McQueen, Texas A&M (The weaker of our corners, presumably)
CB Reggie Corner, Akron (Did you want a better lockdown man for this team?)
FS I-Perfection Harris, Georgia Tech (Also a modest player...)
SS Zaire Kitchen, Rutgers (The team's cook; loves ethnic food)

Special Teams

PK - Brit Barefoot, Southern Miss (Saves the team money on cleats)
P - Keith Toogood, Texas Tech (He's not modest at all)
(Backup/Utility)
Zach Grossnickle, Colorado (Nasty fade, actually drops dimes through the uprights)
PR/KR - Noel Divine, West Virginia (Sent in from above!)