Dodgy as Feck

Hello fantasy season

2010-08-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

This is for my fantasy NFL team that I'll be dominating with again this year.

Some Clint Dempsey Goal Porn

2010-02-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

I hope this guy gets well soon cause he's got some skills. A couple fun facts about him:

His full name is Clinton.
His wife is very, very attractive.
In 04' he played a couple games with a broken jaw.
He broke John Terry's cheekbone... well done.

My Pre Olympics Post

2010-02-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

So in preparation for the opening ceremonies, I provide a couple links to help you enjoy the winter Olympics a little more. Also, be sure to check out The Dodgy Keepers post below.

Here is pretty cool page with a couple interactive video's looking a little closer at a couple events. The downhill sking video is really cool. Also, i challenge you to watch the doubles luge video and not make a gay joke (especially around the 50 second mark).
Slate.com has a couple pretty cool features on the games, including a day by day guide on what you should watch. Also, an economist made a projection on who would win more medals.
Here's a guide to the different venues and where everything is happening.
For those of you with gambling problems and the Olympic spirit here is a Olympic Pick'em courtesy of ESPN.com (just kidding, its free).
ESPN also has probably the best fan guide I've found so far, cause I know you'll lose sleep over the lack of information on Hannu Manninen.
Lindsey Vonn is a very attractive female.
I'd never heard of Clair Bidez prior to finding her on the SI Swimsuit website, safe to say I will be cheering for her (and google image searching her).
If you type "Sidney Crosby is a..." into Google, the suggestions you get are: baby, crybaby and douche.

Enjoy the Olympic spirit and more Canadians then a minor league hockey game.

Well done Vitamin Water

2010-02-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

While I've never been a fan of his college or either of the two NBA teams he's played for. I can't help but love Steve Nash.

Increasing my Daily Dose of Bob Costas

2010-02-12T08:18:00.000-08:00

Comerades -

With the Winter Olympics are now upon us, all eyes move to Vancouver as the world (or at least the first world countries with enough money and time to invest in this sort of thing) looks to indulge their 3-week tolerance of winter sports. While Vancouver was recently voted the nicest city in the world (what's the criteria for that..?), we here at Dodgy as Feck aren't particularly fond of the city and it's inhabitants (blame Southside Whitecaps fans and removal from the downtown club scene on a shady evening).

As proponents of the Games for this short span, we here at Dodgy as Feck would like to break down the spofts seen over the next few weeks in order to encourage dialogue on the events, so without breaking stride...

Alpine Skiing
Starting with snow based sports, this is the fancy name for the recreational skiing you do on weekends down the mountain. Broken up into 5 groups - downhill, alpine, slalom, giant slalom, and super giant slalom (I can't make that up). Basically use the big hill and smooth snow to get down in the shortest amount of time - sometimes while dodging obstacles. By far the most basic of events.

Cross-country Skiing
Same as alpine skiing, but they couldn't break it into 5 events because they didn't have enough superlatives. They have an event called the pursuit, which sounds intriguing until you realize that the athletes just have to ski using different forms (equivalent to swimmings individual medley event). Unfortunately, the competitors rarely battle any grade along the course, forcing them to actually work through the competition.

Biathalon
Cross-country skiing - with a gun. Taken most seriously by the Norwegians, always title contenders here. If you choose to watch a long event, we at least recommend this one as competitors get fiery (literally) around the shooting range portions of this event.

Ski Jumping
A cheaper version of downhill skiing - scrap the poles, and we'll give you a ramp...with a lip that will make you fly off! Now that we've made you a spectacle that can fly over our audience for 80 meters (holy shit..), keep your skis pointed up (we'd hate for you to fall from such a height..) and and brace yourself for a momentus drop and landing (on an angles surface nonetheless...and we're grading you're landing, ala gymnastics!). A personal favorite.

Nordic Combined
It's listed as a combination of cross-country skiing and ski jumping - I say that because I can't recall NBC (or CNBC, or MSNBC...) ever showing it. Maybe it would be better if they included the shooting range...

Freestyle Skiing
When the X-Games became more prominent, these athletes were some of the first to attempt to legitimize their event by pushing it into the Olympics. Whether skiing through intentionally hilly terrain, or utilizing halfpipe ramps to do twists and somersaults, the younger viewers tend to gravitate to these events more often.

Snowboarding
Events varies from halfpipe competitions to downhill races. While the skiiers are racing for time, the snowboarders actually race each other, which factors in the possibility of collisions. Also a favorite with the kids.

Bobsled
Now fully into the field of ice sports - but we will still give you the hill! The fancy name for what you do when you're too lazy to ski - hop on a large object and just try to slide that big hill as fast as you can. Fortunately for viewers, engineers have put together gnarly courses (plenty of steep, narrow, confined goodness) for these riders to get at. Separated into 2-man and 4-man events, The Puck has pointed out that the front man steers and the back man brakes....so if I've done the math correctly, the two middle guys in the 4-man event basically have won the lottery to hang on and see if the others can win them a gold medal, right?

Luge
None of this sissy tank of a bobsled for this group - they head down the course on a tiny sled like you grew up with at home, but they go at 100mph. If you watch NASCAR races just to watch crashes, this is the event for you. Highly recommended watching by us here at Dodgy as Feck.

Skeleton
Alright, now take your luge heading down the mountain at 100mph....head first. Even the females in this event have more balls than I do. Also highly recommended.

Speed Skating
For those not comfortable with being on the icy hill, officials flattened the surface for competitors...but made them stand up and use skates that would rival massive ice picks. Competing for time again, athletes are given one competitor to push them, and they even have to switch lanes on alternating laps (still waiting for the first collision in this portion). A favorite of American broadcasting, many domestic heroes have been made in these events.

Short Track Speed Skating
Here's a thought - make the track smaller, angles tighter, and put more people on the course. A comparison to a WWE melee would be harsh, so I prefer to make it analagous to roller derby on ice - while the race is nice to win on pure speed, position is critical. While competitors battle for this, dust ups often occur that significantly alter final results. Recommended to our viewers.

Ice Hockey
By far the most prominent sport in Canada, which should provide the most significant storyline of the games - basically, expect death for the men's side if they don't win gold on home ice. If the US wins, expect the reaction from fans not to be that we won, but we simply took something from Canada...again. Although the event is something to look forward to, nothing says sexist like not allowing the women to check or fight....but oh well.

Figure Skating
A favorite of the female demographic, and therefore one of the most publicized and highest drawing events (they do still make up half the population you know...), this can be a individual or couples event. Not much else to say, other than I don't know the scoring system anymore since it got changed after the 2002 Winter Olympics debacle. (I watched with my mom, and we knew the judges rigged things....no shame in that!)

Curling
The equivalent of bocce ball on ice - closest stone to the center of the target wins, with each additional stone closer than an opponent earning extra points. Despite it being a slower sport in terms of pace of a match, the Canadians in these events have the second highest potential of getting some ass if they win the gold (behind hockey players....and even then, they probably get sympathy ass from dumb American chicks, but I digress....). Another recommended event.

In related news, the Russians bought out Canadian broadcasting from 8am-5pm on one major network to appeal to it's Russian demographic (who knew?) They attempted the same in the US, but Bob Costas refuted them in a Chuck Norris-like manner (he is NBC's equivalent, you know).

While the opening won't likely match Bejing last time around, enjoy the events all the same....especially the african qualifiers trying desperately to compete at a moderately equal level to other competitors (not racist, just geographically logical)

The Dodgy Keeper

Get to know your MLS Supporter Groups Edition 1

2010-02-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

So I've noticed that some MLS supporters groups are super well know, some are pretty unknown. So in an effort to educate the world. I have gone on a mission to produce a comprehensive guide to the Supporters Groups.
Philidelphia Union
While Union has yet to play an actual game but it does have a supporters group. They've actually had a supporters group for about three years. Their main group goes by the name of "The Son's of Ben"(apparently New England is doesn't have a monopoly on Revolutionary War imagery, I expect ultras to battle while wearing tri corner hats). This is referring to the prominent Philadelphia resident Benjamin Franklin (not sure what Ben Franklin's views were on soccer but I'm not sure he would have like a sport invented in England). Now lets have a little history nerd break. New York Red Bull supporters have had a lot of fun pointing out that the son of Ben Franklin was a Tory (a colonist during the revolutionary war that stayed loyal to the British). This is true, Franklin's illegitimate son, William, did stay loyal to the British. He actually was the last Royal Governor of New Jersey. New York Red Bull Supporters are forgetting that New York was the most Tory city in the colonies. Sorry, I'll take off the History nerd hat. They commonly refer to themselves as SOB's. The Sons of Ben's claim they have a membership of 5,200. Although its pretty tough to verify this number since they haven't had a game yet. I actually doubt they have anywhere near that many members. That being said, from what I can gather about them over the "tubes", they are pretty well supported. My amauter guess would be that they now have a couple hundred die hard supporters (maybe a thousand) and that will increase once they actually play some soccer. They do certainly have some pretty committed fans. A couple dozen sons made an appearance at the MLS cup in 2007, a full 3 years before their first game. They seem to have followed in the Eagles footsteps and have developed an quick hatred of the New York Red Bulls. Their fury seems a bit misguided being that they've never played a game and New York seems to only halfheartedly see them as rivals (after DC United and New England). To me, it seems they think a supporters group isn't a supporters group unless they hate somebody. They've adopted "I'm looking over a four leaf clover" as their song. I couldn't actually figure out why, but that's cool. So here they are in all their glory. Enjoy.

Set your TIVO, you could help Italian ref's.

2010-02-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

News outta the Italian soccer federation, this guy will eat your soul if you swear on the pitch. Just kidding! But Italian referee's can now slang out red cards for uttering certain four letter words on the pitch (maybe they aren't four letters in Italian, but you get the idea). Not only can they send them packing if they hear words my mother would hit me over the head for, they can also sit in dark room's and read the lips of the players on video (we coulda used one of those guys during the last World Cup Final)
Here's my problem (besides the fact that i've been know to yell some choice words during games), is this the problem that the Italian Soccer federation should be concentrating on? On a week when one fan group invaded their teams training ground and forced the team to hide in the locker room. Adrian Mutu (the one guy that you'd think would never fail a drug test) failed a drug test and Napoli and Udinese ultra's stage a pitched battle on a street.
So yea, what Italian soccer should be concentrating on is David Beckham plugging this blog.

Highlight of Merseyside Derby

2010-02-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

Terrible tackles where flying around this pitch like a pee wee football game in Canada.

A Sex Scandal not involving John Terry

2010-02-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

So while watching my DVRed Merseyside Derby I came across this gem of a news story (it is a bit old, but i feel it needs to be brought out to the world). Everybodies favorite cornrowed South African, Steven Pienaar, is being sued by his baby's momma for not marrying her. Apparently Pienaar told this lady about how he was gonna marry her, proceeds to bang her and then leaves her (gasp!!!). Pretty typical story so far, here's where it gets weird, the lady claims that Pienaar hide her birth control and ended the relationship "without cause". She claims that she is experiencing emotional stress from being an unwed mother (all you need is to take beyonce's advice to avoid that situation) and is now entitled to a chunk of Pienaar's change.

I hope this doesn't become common for several reasons. One, James Bond and Wilt Chamberlain would be screwed. Two, if any judge believes a guy would hide his girls birth control, that judge should be required to dress like a women for the rest of his career (my bad... too late). Three, if you now need "cause" to dump somebody, then women will need to prepare for "I just want to be friends" to be replaced by "You're just too ugly and can you sign this acknowledging you're a crazy female". Finally, if being a heartbreaker becomes illegal, then the dodgy keeper should start practicing this dance.

My John Terry post

2010-02-02T14:46:00.001-08:00

So, John Terry, you've had a tough week. I'll do my best to find some things to cheer you up and distract you instead of banging your tea mates babies momma's.
- It could be worse, Here are a selection of soccer sex scandals that make your "adventures" sound tame. (unless there is a midget hooker we haven't heard about yet)
- Laughter always makes people feel better, here is a humorous joke:

It’s been announced on Sky Sports News that Capello has phoned Wayne Bridge to let him know that John Terry has lost his captain’s armband.

He has asked Bridge to check under the bed.
(I take no credit for this joke, stole it from somebody that stole it from somebody else).
-Finally, I give you a comic, because who doesn't like comics.

Greece does Freddy Adu good.

2010-01-31T23:08:00.000-08:00

Whoever made the Freddy Adu voodoo doll apparently has retired it, because Pele's favorite disappointment showed some skills (including a pretty sick assist to his countrymen Eddie Johnson) on his debut with his new Greek club.

Oscar Meyer

2010-01-26T18:03:00.000-08:00

It's another busy day here at Dodgy as Feck, so I'll offer the day's most talked about picture.

My bologna has a first name, it's O-D-E-N-S
My bologna has a second name, it's W-I-E-N-E...R

Can't say we're homophobes...

I love that goofy bastard...

2010-01-25T17:35:00.000-08:00

So I've tried to not like Peyton Manning, but I just can't. He's just too lovable.
Which probably means he's currently banging a dozen different ladies and about to have a golf club (or I guess a football in his case) thrown at him while he drives into a tree.

Straightforward

2010-01-25T17:02:00.000-08:00

The Puck is in the middle of a move and I'm swamped at work today, but I do have enough time to express one idea within these confines today...

Terry Leigh is an exceptionally good looking broadcaster.

Sock Sucker?

2010-01-21T18:09:00.000-08:00

So I'm all for a little smack talking between former teammates (its the only reason i listen to anything Shaq says anymore). But I feel that Carlos Tevez (you wouldn't like him when he gets angry) could have come up with better then calling his former teammate Gary Neville a "sock sucking moron". Because I like Argentinians who are owned by shady businessmen, I will provide a "slam list" of alternative names to call Mr. Neville.
-Beckham's Butt Boy
-Che Asshole
-The Weakest Ankle Ligaments in England
-The man who can't grow a full Goatee
-The Birdie

Couple Idea for you Carlos, but if all else fails, just roll into a ball and launch yourself at him. You look like you have it in you.

Our first shameless advirtisement

2010-01-21T06:54:00.000-08:00

At Dodgy as Feck, we've taken a moment to acknowledge male compatriots within the ranks of athletics who need some assistance in their We've gotten together with our friends at Hair Club for Men to bring you our first nominees for brand sponsorship.

With that, we would like to introduce *drum roll please*...Joleon Lescott and Ricardo Carvalho.

With all other dermotology products for men failing at the moment, we've decided to step up and help those that need it most. After this campaign becomes rabidly successful, I'm sure we will be looking toward more stellar candidates in the future!

CollegeFootball All-Name Honorees

2010-01-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

Since it's the end of the college football season, we here at Dodgy as Feck have decided to compile our All-Name Team. While we moderately analyzed the players' performance this season, we were more interested in how their name's looked in the program instead. So without further adieu...

Offense

QB - Jim Bob Cooter, Tennessee (Needless to say, campus stud and this team's captain)
(Backups)
Nick Cannon, Tulane (Guess he got tired of Wild 'n Out)
Colt McCoy, Texas (Would you want anyone else to go to Texas?)
Roley Skinner, Wake Forest (Yeesh..)
Ryan Mallett, Arkansas (Oww..)
Tony Pike, Cincinatti (Just gore me while you're at it...)

RB - Donald Buckram, UTEP (Surely he can hit the hole hard)
RB - Mister Simpson, Michigan ("The fumes are making me dizzy!")
OT - Kyle Sackrider, Michigan State (I'd hate to know what his celebration is after a pancake...)
OG - Jerrod Gooch, Texas Tech (Also uses a post-pancake celebration)
C - Chief Kickingstallionsims C, Alabama State (If he does that to horses, imagine how he blocks)
OG - Nick Bigrigg, Kent State (It's obvious what he's driving around campus)
OT - King Dunlap, Auburn (You know what size bed he sleeps on)
TE - Ryan Allgood, Oklahoma (Safe hands I'm sure)
WR - De'Cody Fagg, Florida State (More durable than a bundle of sticks)
WR - Co-Eric Riley, Mississippi State (We'd send his brother out with him as twins right, but we only found one...)

Defense

DE Evander Holyfield, Auburn (Offensive linemen, watch your earholes!)
DT Tez Doolittle, Auburn (I'm sure he occupies blockers despite low stats)
DE Colin Ferrell, Kent State (Ha!)
LB Prince Kwateng, Northwestern
LB Sir Darean Adams, Michigan State (Please address our linebacking corps with respect!)
LB Mister Alexander, Florida State
LB Lucious Pusey, Eastern Illinois (We're assuming he's hetero...)
CB Justin McQueen, Texas A&M (The weaker of our corners, presumably)
CB Reggie Corner, Akron (Did you want a better lockdown man for this team?)
FS I-Perfection Harris, Georgia Tech (Also a modest player...)
SS Zaire Kitchen, Rutgers (The team's cook; loves ethnic food)

Special Teams

PK - Brit Barefoot, Southern Miss (Saves the team money on cleats)
P - Keith Toogood, Texas Tech (He's not modest at all)
(Backup/Utility)
Zach Grossnickle, Colorado (Nasty fade, actually drops dimes through the uprights)
PR/KR - Noel Divine, West Virginia (Sent in from above!)

I'm starting to find out what Bryan Boytano WOULD do...

2010-01-19T08:14:00.000-08:00

Associates -

Because I had my girlfriend over this weekend, I ended up watching a bit of figure skating this weekend (if you've had a significant former, don't say you haven't done the latter). I realized after that whole cheating ordeal with the French judge, I don't know how the new scoring system works. That being said, appearantly former skaters who do color commentary now like Scott Hamilton have issued the warrant before the Olympics that Jeremy Abbott "issued a beat down" on the rest of the field at the 2010 US Championships. Who knew such a thing existed in figure skating.

In an interesting twist, one of the runners up that qualified for the US has been officially dubbed Johnny "Weird" by my girlfriend. This fashion affeccionato was constantly shown with custom outfits that were cut open along the chest (moderately typical in figure skating, considerably faulty within society though) in his short routine, as well as baring both shoulders down to the bust in his long routine (never acceptable). Anytime you are waving at the crowd with just your fingers when your event is complete will leave you succeptable to questioning. That being said, it would be interesting to ask this fellow if he is an athlete in a competition, or an artist simply expressing himself....

I'd like to take this time to note that I've cared more to cover men's figure skating in this blog than I have baseball.

Relating to other sports not mainstream to the US, the Australian Open is underway, and Serena Williams has finally admitted that she abused the umpire at the US Open last year (just a bit). Interestingly though, she claims that the fine of $90,000 and the negative publicity would be less if a guy had done the same thing. You decide for yourself, all I know is that Maria Sharapova is not only falling off on the international level, but she isn't even the best at what she does within her own country; she just lost to countrywoman Maria Kirilenko, and judging by her Russian counterparts she has competition in the aesthetic portion of her livelihood as well.

Have you ever been to a hockey game and not liked it? Just another reminder from us at Dodgy as Feck to support your local NHL (best penalty shots of the year), WHL, or ECHL team (best team goal of year, plus 3 nutmegs).

Because the bit of major news in US sports pertains to the college ranks, we revert back to football. Colt McCoy injured his shoulder and arm in the BCS title game, like Sam Bradford and Tony Pike before him...since when did the footbll gods think it would be fun to injure all the good quarterbacks this year? Or did a voodoo shaman just get a lot of requests for the throwing arm of star quarterbacks?

In college basketball, it continues to interest me how teams at the top interchange sports so rapidly from week to week. That being said it only happens in the men's game, and it's bound to happen statistically when there's 340 teams. Big up's to UConn's women by the way, winners of 57 in a row by an average of 30+ points, including 3 times facing the #2 team in the country (20.3 point avg. margin of defeat). A good battle between them and Penn State volleyball in opposite seasons.

In more important news elsewhere, Sky Sports News has reported they believe that Arsenal will only have a shot at the title if Cesc Fabregas stays fit. I wonder when that dawned on them...they were keen enough to point out that Matthew Taylor (and generally his Bolton teammates as well) seem not to enjoy scoring. That side needs to find some fellas that do, and fast.

Impertinantly, an Englishman recently told me that his country care more about the MLS than the Scottish Premier League - if nothing else, it made me laugh.

If Valencia played at home like they did on the road, Barca wouldn't be running away with La Liga. Likewise, if Mallorca could muster even a part of the form they exhibit at home, they would overturn the massive deficit at the top of the table.

Has the Serie A ever been worse? It's terribly slow, the movement is abhorrently inefficient, and I'm pretty sure 99% of players have the first touch of a rapist (typical Italians). I don't think I can bear to watch anymore unless they're playing a team in Europe where they are forced to play quicker under pressure.

How did Hertha Berlin go from a contender to last place (by a long way) in the Bundesliga? I wish I got to watch the league more often, for being at such a high level it's arguably got one of the most evenly distributed sets of talent of any division as well. I'll also add that although I don't have GolTV right now, I'll get it if Kaiserslautern gets promoted to the Bundesliga and Luis Robles starts in goal for them. Along the same lines, big up's to my boys Collen Warner and Frankie Lopez, picked up by Real Salt Lake and Jaguares de Chiapas respectively. Best of luck fellas.

Finally, who the hell thinks they can beat my brother at FIFA10 on XBox? Sack up and leave your gamertag under this post

My Ill Post

2010-01-18T16:26:00.001-08:00

So I'm stuck in Seattle currently suffering from some kind of germ (its probably not h1n1, i just like the pic). One upside is that I get to watch a lot of soccer on TV (the downside is you don't get sleep and there's very little on tv at 4:30 in the morning). So I'll give some observations from my virus driven soccer marathon.
-Landon Donovan is a damn fine soccer player. He's either going to become an assist machine or get a ton of goals in the second half of this season.
-I've always been an Eric Wynalda fan. I personally believe he's the best American Soccer analyst that we've got. I say all of this because he just correctly pointed out that Arsenal is a couple mic's and fedora's away from being a boy band. Think about it, Cesc Fabregas as the pretty boy. Thomas Vermaelen as the sweet white boy. Theo Walcott as the bad boy from the wrong side of a leg injury and Nicklas Bendtner as the toolbag.
-I'm sick of people saying that American owners are bad for the EPL. It's not that American owners that are terrible, its idiots owners. Hicks and Gillette are both American and Idiots. They're terrible owners because they are too reliant on Liverpool getting in certain positions and having their offspring sending d-bag emails, not because they understand baseball and live in apartments, not flats. Terrible owners are not specific to certain nationalities (paging mike ashley).
-I can't help but love Marouane Fellaini. Any Belgian that takes hair inspiration from Jimi Hendrix is fine by me.
-I'm fairly happy that I had Nicholas Anelka in my fantasy team, Darren Bent did his part too (and since he was down by a half dozen goals by the time, I'm fairly certain that he scored just for me). If anyone had Sunderlands goal keeper in, send your name and address to me and I'll send you anti-depressants.
-How does Clint Dempsey get injured? I think at this point, I'm 5th in the U.S.'s forward depth chart.
-That being said, Steven Pienaar is a better soccer player then I am.

Finally, i can personally attest that there in a Law and Order on at every hour of the day.

Arizona Horse Soccer

2010-01-14T18:28:00.000-08:00

HORSE SOCCER...the new Olympic Sport?? from Glenn Davis on Vimeo.

So I'm all for expanding the game of soccer around the world, and around the country but I don't feel the need to spread it to other species (although Ruud van Nistelrooy sort of got his hoof in the door for all the equine's). I guess chalk this up to the things people think of while suffering from heat exhaustion.

Flavor: Assorted

2010-01-13T07:37:00.000-08:00

Commiserators -

A quick look at the current sports landscape, because it is unnaturally hectic for this time of year. Incidentally we'll talk baseball first, because doing so is like eating your veggies - you don't want to, but you know you'll have to so you may as well get it out of the way.

You may have noticed that Big Mac has seemed seemed awfully contrite of late. I'm surprised his thoughts haven't been moderated, because he's insinuated that the length of the baseball season and the injuries that come from it are why he started using steriods. Shortening that season is great news in my book, but no doubt it will lose money for all involved in the sport. McGwire also said he didn't think steriods helped him hit the ball any better, which I believed until it was pointed out that steriods can improve your vision. Plenty of other topics in this realm to discuss....bottom line, baseball's in real trouble, and probably looking at going from America's pastime to developing the popularity that cricket draws in the Eastern Hemisphere.

In regards to international sports popularity, I've determined that each country's version of football is it's most popular sport respectively...with exception to Canada. No matter, they'll still point out that their Gray (or is it Grey to them?) Cup still has longer tenure than the Super Bowl.

On the road to the Super Bowl, 8 teams are left standing. Most matchups pit a team with more talent and a better record vs. a team on a hot streak. It should be noted that unless the Jets play the Ravens in the AFC, weather will likely not be a factor in any matchup.

Surprisingly, changes in the coaching carousel have surpassed news of actual athletic activity during the week, to the chagrin of franchises still in the playoffs I'm sure. The uber-goober himself has swiped the rug from underneath USC and quickly bolted for a mediocre Seattle franchise hoping to reclaim a run of success from 5 seasons ago. This is only to be surpassed by USC's selection of their next coach, and I can imagine the thought process of Mike Garrett, USC AD - "Let's see....find someone who's a failed NFL coach with a pro-style offense, that emphasizes defense, and sounds great when recruiting to teens but like a used car salesman when doing interviews." Nice job coach, you found the man.

Speaking of the carousel, why not send one of these guys up to Washington State to turn that team around? It's a BCS school that would stoop to about any level in order to ensure some sort of success at this point...after all, you've got to save some face, you only have one. Or it might be ironic if Mike Leech headed to Tennessee, and a series of national powerhouses effectively end up trading a group of high profile coaches. More to come on this later I'm sure.

On the topic of Tennessee, we can move to college basketball. I know The Puck is bitter about it, but I'm sure the only reason his Jayhawks got beat by a Vols team with 6 scholarship players is because they didn't know which others had guns concealed on them. I'm glad to see the conference season underway for teams though, this will likely be my domestic focus over the next 2 months.

The best thing about the NBA right now isn't the league, because rarely does something significant happen before the All-Star break and the playoff race heats up. Instead, as a sports gamer I'm more pleased to hear about NBA Jam coming back. Despite the fact that I don't knwo why it's being distributed on the Wii from Canada, I look forward to being able to throw an unneccessary series of elbows after grabbing a board from 30 feet up, having the ball bounce a dozen times on the rim before someone grabs it, and lighting nets on fire after launching a barrage of 3's from midcourt.

In more somber news, terrible to hear about the Togalese soccer team, shot at by a series of Angolan rebels and striking fear into the international community before the World Cup. Despite this, even worse news to hear that the CAF might've banned the team from the tournament that they were trying to arrive at when this happened. Sad to say, but if these events lead to a disasterous World Cup, African organizations will take a major hit within the international sporting community.

I've got nothing for hockey at the moment, other than that I've clearly found the goal of the year. Degree of difficulty is obviously high here, as his angle was tight and he took it out of the air.

Monta Ellis gets up reeeal easy...

2010-01-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

Big up's to The Puck, who recently gave me a call to offer an extra ticket to an NBA game he had left over when his girlfriend decided that studying to get into grad school precedes attendance at a professional sporting event. This trip afforded me an opportunity to gain a higher knowledge and appreciation for the NBA product about to be divulged. This trip afforded The Puck the opportunity to see his childhood team matchup vs. the team whose city he currently resides (Warriors v. Blazers). Big ups to a random gentleman in section 122 also, who's advice that a pair of seats next to him (and just behind the Blazers bench) rarely get filled, and allowed us to turn $20 tickets into $135 tickets.

The Puck and I were especially keen after our good fortunate, and with our combined knowledge could more easily breakdown major and minor aspects of the NBA production. That being said, this opportunity also exposed us to the company of a series of season ticket holding frat boys to our left (clearly attending on daddy's pocketbook) that while humored by the banter next to them, could only muster enough intelligence to point out the most blatantly obvious of events taking place around them.

Early on, while The Puck and I appreciated the workmanlike attitude and preparation of the participants, two particular players stood out in vast contrast of the general demeanor. It was in no poor fashion that Juwan Howard and Ronnie Turiaf (perrenial NBA good guys) seemed excessively playful throughout the competition; in fact, the percieved notion that they had a good perspective of where their jobs stood within their overall livelihood was refreshing. Accordingly, these two were monitored during all time outs and breaks to see (and also partake in) what constantly kept them humored.

Speaking of constantly humored during breaks, it was also excessively appearant that many of the Blazers (LaMarcus Aldridge, Rudy Fernandez, Steve Blake...who mind you are injured and sitting behind the bench) aren't shy of keeping an eye on the BlazerDancers and Rebecca Haarlow, Comcast SportsNet's courtside correspondent. LaMarcus was easily identifiable as the primary cultprit, noted to have been pulling Rudy away from the huddle during timouts and pointing at various events taking place during breaks. He also gave Rebecca more than one up/down glance during the span of the game. I considered offering The Puck on a +/- wager on how many times this would happen the rest of the night, except for the fact that it would've required us also to frequently glance at Rebecca as well, who didn't look impressive on the evening. (In her defense, her photos and bio seen here improved my overall impression of her)

Staying on the topic of breaks though, The Puck was noticably disturbed by segments when young girls (presumably between 8 and 12) were brought out during timeouts to share the provacative dance moves that they had learned from the much more mature BlazerDancers. While The Puck was not the only fan pressured to look away from this display (obviously this would make any male over 18 feel uneasy), it occured to me that despite the fact that this is a positive activity and a way for young girls to express themselves, the manner and setting in which they were doing it was perhaps in appropriate. Obviously we here at Dodgy as Feck would never condone such a thing, but events like this make me less shocked when grungy 40-somethings hang out around the time kids get out for recess...they don't need any more ammunition, why should they be provoked in a blatantly public environment by those with no legal rights, and presumably no ability to protect themselves? Just food for thought...

In relevant athletic action, it should be noted that before the tip, I noted a gut feeling to those around that Corey Maggette would have an exceptional game. Sure enough, the Blazers looked visibly weary from only having an 8-man rotation, and the Warriors rushed to a 20-4 lead within the first 5 minutes thanks to 11 points from Maggette. However, the player who turned on the style most after this juncture was Monta Ellis. Despite a plea to The Puck to remind me later in life never to name any of my children "Monta", the slick 6'3" shooting guard provided multiple opportunities from the fastbreak, and often switching between cutting and outleaping the TrailBlazers bigs and leveling any perimeter defending with a barrage of 3's.
Despite the Warriors losing 105-89, I was thuroughly impressed by his performance, and it made me wonder which other NBA teams have exceptional players that (despite a high athletic affinity) I have very little idea about. That being said, in terms of NBA players with little exposure, Brandon Roy scored the quitest 37 points I think I'll ever see in a game.

With a great experience in hand (figuratively...the only thing I actually had was a coupon for a free chalupa from Taco Bell for the Blazers notching 100 points), I was pleased to have the opportunity to attend such a great entertainment event, and to see it from such a great angle. Hopefully The Puck's girlfriend will continue her intense study habits (I chose to disregard my own for the evening), I fully look forward to a similar experience in the near future.

A glimpse into the Dodgy Keepers Childhood

2010-01-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

You wanna know why The Dodgy Keeper joined this blog... cause his hoodrat friend The Puck told him to.

Apparently not all French hate America

2010-01-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

Does Arsenal really have a U.S. scout? I'm willing to bet he's more a North American scout that pops up to the states in between long periods south of the border. But still a pretty cool sign from every bodies favorite economist/manager.

Lambastards

2010-01-07T11:42:00.001-08:00

Participants -

Great to see you still enthused. I'd have posted earlier about Arenas, but it hurts to see a Wildcat alum act this stupid. Hopefully the crippled Blazers can strike a deal with the Bullets errrr Wizards now that they are in desperate need for a guard.

Speaking of the Blazers, did you hear the news? Chris Dudley has stopped running for office in Oregon, he wants Greg Oden's open position instead.

NCAA Football Championship is tonight, at least regarding the Coaches Poll. I hope the game ends 6-3 in 2OT to Texas, with the turnover margin at 14-12 in favor of the Horns. Like Josh Hairnet at the end of Lucky Number S7evin, "Feck you both." (3:35)

Amazingly, I care more about pro football at the moment. Glad to see the Cardinals didn't bite when Green Bay kept taunting them by running it up. That being said, why was Anquan Boldin ever in? Nobody's talking about him missing out like Wes Welker, but their situations are comparable.

Did I mention that I won my NFL Fantasy League? If I didn't mention that I won my NFL Fantasy League, I meant to say that I won my NFL Fantasy League...

Also in the NFL, the Redskins got a much needed change at head coach - introducing...

Of course, a familiar face to those in the Pacific NW.

And hey, it's a good thing Mike Vick came back this year: 6-13, 86 yds, 1 td. In case you needed a reminder, you blew it.

Speaking of people blowing it, golf says it'll be the same as before without Tiger. Frankly, I think they're spot on, because we all could give a feck less about 40 and 50-somethings that can't run. The only reason your sport even had ratings was that the same age demographic left their TV's on when they took a nap.

In that demographic, I only have respect for one man - Randy Johnson. Big up's for the Big Unit, and may your mullet live on forever.

Moving on to entertaining sports (and because another word would've been one too much about baseball), how the hell are the Phoenix Coyotes one of the top 3 teams in the Western Conference? This was the team whose coach (Mr. Great One) left them for dead before the season, and whose town/ownership would at any point be likely to do the same. At a scratch above 10,000 for average home attendance, you'd think that Phoenix would do better with an MLS team in the summer. By no means am I complaining though...

Over in England, the English media saying former Burnley boss Coyle is moving backwards by going to Bolton. I guess they forgot 3 top 8 finishes the last 5 years for Bolton, and that the club is courting Guti from Real Madrid. It's hard to take their media seriously...I'd rather let the teams' actions stand for themselves. (Top 10 goal of the year for sure) That being said, as much as I hate him sometimes, I hope Landon does well.

Can't wait for the Olympics, might even have to get a DVR for it. How badass would ski jumping be? Or the skeleton luge (headfirst, for those unaware), if you perfected the technique...? Ice dancing I can live without, but I'm stoked all the same.

I just drive past a lady that was eating and on her cell phone in Washington (illegal)...but with a handicap sticker. WTF?

Anyway, enjoy the end of the week...more ironies to come I'm sure.

The Dodgy Keeper

PS - I'm passing on the prediction of a significant earthquake in LA sometime in 2010...you probably heard it here first.

Hope Agent Zero has a Liscense

2010-01-04T23:11:00.000-08:00

So I was prepared to write a post about how its a joke and terrible for the NBA that one of its "stars" had several handguns hanging out in his locker sitting next to his Dakar cologne. But then I heard the part of the dispute was that Javaris Crittenton told Arenas that he was "going to shot him in the knee". I just thought that was funny.

I'll leave the outrage to somebody else.

Music Thursday (on Friday)

2010-01-01T19:54:00.000-08:00

I had better things to do the past couple thursday's. So I'm catching up now. I believe this band came up on my Pandora and I've been digging them ever since. I especially enjoy the live video because like Seth Green doing the voice of Chris Griffin, I can't really understand how the lead singers voice does that.

I'm not a big Hockey Fan but...

2010-01-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty sure the NHL Winter Classic is probably the best idea any sport has had recently. Growing up in California, Hockey was typically played on inline skates and I didn't really have any part of it. Moving to Oregon, I've tried to give Hockey a chance. I've been to several Winterhawks games and enjoyed it. I tried to get into Hockey at the end of last season but it didn't really happen.
But this winter classic has me interested. The LSU-Penn State game is a pretty good (although the turf is terrible and is another example of bowls being a joke) but I'm finding myself switching to the Hockey game. Two classic sports towns, in one of the most storied and legendary venue don't know if it gets much better then this.

In the Kansas City airport....

2009-12-28T11:56:00.001-08:00

Looking for Larry Johnson, I'm gonna try and convince him to start twittering again...

Happy Holiday's = PC BS

2009-12-28T10:40:00.000-08:00

Collaborators -

It's nice to partake again. Big up's to the Puck for keeping up on recent events, and doubly so for finding a pic of my girl - too bad I don't know the douche grabbing on to her...I'll have to sort that out on my own later. Other than that mess, I recently rediscovered that Arizona is still a nice winter destinatation, and that it's warmth this time of year doesn't get old.

Great to see college bowls get underway. As always, the amount of bowl games is perplexing - obviously it's great that the sponsors can throw at least $300,000 toward the schools and conferences competing in each, but I'd love to see the books on how that's economically feasible between pairs of 6-6 or 7-5 teams. I am humored by the competition between the Little Cesars and PappaJohns.com Bowls....I think they should have to play in the same time slot to battle for ratings, winning team from the highest rated game taking the spoils from both bowl games! I'm sure after I achieve higher success later on I will wax eloquent regarding my bowl selections for the season...they just need time to develop.

In related news, my NFL fantasy team doesn't need time to develop as they are in the league championship this coming week. As last years defending champ, I've surely established some amount of prowess in this area of statistical analysis. Feel free to drop questions for your players in the last week on the message boward below, I'd love to answer them. Regarding the actual football competition itself, next week will be interesting - the NFC is only waiting to determine whether Philly or Dallas wins the East, while the AFC has a shitshow of teams competing to the wire for the wild card spots under numerous circumstances (64 for thsoe scoring at home). And for those concerned, don't worry; the Rams only need to lose 1 more game to lock up the first draft pick. I complimented their fans in the Phoenix airport yesterday, because it obviously takes a tremendous passion to be an away supporter for that franchise.

I always feel bad for the college basketball players that never get a winter break like other students. At least they have games that postpone finals for them, or let them take them on the road (I'm sure that's a great perk).

Boxing Day fixtures in the EPL are fantastic for the fans, it makes up for not having matches in other leagues to watch. Don't look now, but Portsmouth have decided against indifference to picking up points, and Birmingham is making a run at the biggun's up top thanks to an airtight defense.

There's always one miserable team from La Liga every year. Xerex, congratulations - you're this season's punching bag. Hope you're enjoying the top flight bonus every other year.

Can Bundesliga fans take the league seriously when it holds less matches and takes its hiatus right when fans are most apt to watch over the holiday season? At least we know the player's union is doing its job in that league, good for them I suppose...

Someone tell the Serie A to slow down the play and keep more possession. For all the fans that "love the possession game", look what you've encouraged...I hope you're ashamed, that used to be the world's best league.

Big up's to Banfield for reaching their first championship in 117 years. There's no jumping on that bandwagon - you're either a lifer for them or knew nothing about it from the start.

Lastly, and aside from athletics, some political correctness nonesense needs settled - stop saying "Happy Holiday's" around Christmas time. If you know one of the 5 million celebrating Kwanzaa this time of year, wish them happiness more specifically. Other than that, you should be smart enough to know that either A) Chanukuh has already passed, or B) you should really just wish people a Merry Christmas.

God bless, eat your vegetables
The Dodgy Keeper

Sorry for the break

2009-12-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

The Puck's Christmas Vacation:

The Dodgy Keepers Christmas Vacation:

My bad for the sparse postings lately. Here at Dodgy as Feck, we do like to party and we enjoy the holiday's. So I'll be absent while I'm snowed under (and visiting my O.G. of a Grandpa). I'm never one to leave a good image unposted and since I found this map of where I'm at, I have to put it up.

Vimeo is the Youtube of Sick Soccer Mixtapes

2009-12-21T18:50:00.001-08:00

Top Skills Volume 18 from Torresinho on Vimeo.

It's no Viva Futbol, but it'll do.

Stuart Holden is a Goofy kid

2009-12-18T08:23:00.001-08:00

I'm off for a couple days to see the lady friend. I leave you with a national team player dressed up like an elf... can't say i never did anything for you.

Music Thursday

2009-12-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

I've decided that in my effort to broaden the horizons of this blog I'm gonna try to feature one song a week that I'm currently digging. On that note...

Do you ever hear a song and immediately think "this probably has a pretty great video. I thought this about this song, and I was right (and if you're a heterosexual male, I think you'll agree). I've always liked the stuff that Akon comes out with and although I'd never heard of David Guetta, I'm liking him too. Finally, I think we've all tried to find the words to describe a girl without being disrespectful.

So that was the last time Liverpool won a game...

2009-12-14T19:15:00.000-08:00

The Kop | Panorama 1964 from WhatEverTrevor.co.uk on Vimeo.

So I make it a rule to rarely poach two video's from the same blog in close proximity, but today I'm making an exception. Mainly, because this blog (I'll give you a hint, its the only soccer blog I'm on record as "following") had some gems today, the other one being directly below this post (and I could have made it three videos).
This one is great for a couple reasons. First of all, I'm a Liverpool fan. Secondly, It's awesome to see English stadiums prior to the installation of the current all seater set up. In this video, you can see the legendary "terraces". To give you a little frame of reference the Terraces were simply series of concrete steps that spectators were allowed to stand on while watching the games. These were typically the cheaper seats where the younger and poorer fans watched. The trouble with the terraces was also the attraction to many clubs, you could pack a ton of people into them, making them almost as valuable as the more expensive bleachers or seats. The concrete steps would become slippery and people would be crushed once they fell. The proverbial nail in the terraces coffin was the Hillsborough Disaster, killing 96 Liverpool fans. After the report on the disaster was published, the terraces were largely phased out and replaced with seats.
So enjoy the video.

Now this is how you make a mix tape

2009-12-14T08:30:00.000-08:00

Not much I can say about this.

Call me the Heisman Hater

2009-12-13T09:09:00.000-08:00

Lemme start out this post by pointing out that I think the wrong guy won. Ingram had a couple good games and a couple average games. Toby Gerhart had more total yards, more TD's, and you can double the yards Ingram got in his worst game and get close to what Gerhart got in his worst game. But this post isn't about who got the Heisman this year, it's about how the Heisman is a fraud every year. While we all should be used to College Football being the biggest joke in American sports (fyi- College Football is the only sport in the world that decides it's championship not on the field of play) and every award that's voted on is gonna have some controversy, the Heisman is just ridiculous. I have outlined three of my reasons below:

Only the players on the good teams are considered. Dan LeFevour is the only QB in NCAA history with 12,000 passing yards and 2,500 rushing yards. Those are epic numbers. I know he plays for Central Michigan but you can't deny those numbers and he has never been on any serious list of contention. One of the major knocks against Toby Gerhart is that his team didn't win out. Although those loses had very little to do with the performance of Gerhart (in one of the games, he lit Cal up for 165 total yards, another he got 141 total yards). Furthermore, only some positions are considered. The Heisman Trophy, with one exceptions, sort of (Charles Woodson is the only defensive player to win, but he won largely based on his punt return abilities and his occasional appearances as a wide out), has always been awarded to a WR, a QB or a RB. Can you really tell me that "the outstanding college football player in the United States" has always been playing one of those three positions?
You can't compare the Stat's. NCAA football is not the NFL. With 144 teams in the Football Championship Sub-division, the competition that Mark Ingram, Toby Gerhart, Colt McCoy and Ndamukong Suh played against can't be weighed against each other. Not only did Stanford never play Alabama, Stanford never played a team that played Alabama. How do you compare the SEC with the PAC 10? How do you compare the 99 yards Ingram rushed for against Tennessee with the 96 yards Gerhart rushed for at Oregon State? It's impossible, these are two very different programs with very different defensive talent and schemes. The only halfway fair way to compare two RB's is to see how they perform against the same defense. But all this shows is how that player performed on that day, not how his season went.
You can't compare the positions. So far in this post I've only talked about two Heisman candidates, Mark Ingram, a running back, and Toby Gerhart, a running back. I did this because its pretty impossible to compare Toby Gerharts stat's and performance against Colt McCoy's or Ndamukong Suh's stats with Mark Ingram's. It's tough to compare how Gerhart performed against Oregon State and how Ingram performed against Tennessee but its totally impossible to compare Suh's four tackles at Oklahoma with Colt McCoys four TD's against Kansas.

So how does the Heisman get awarded? The media chooses the candidates and therefore chooses the winner. Mark Ingram became a serious candidate after his great performance against Florida, when the media, and therefore the country started to pay attention. Anybody with a computer and a TV can quickly research the best players in the NFL. With literally thousands of college football players, nobody is gonna spend the time looking at thousands of stat's and thousands of performances unless their paid to do it (or have no life).

The Yanks/Mixtapes are coming

2009-12-10T08:59:00.000-08:00

Andy Samberg is one funny cracker.

2009-12-09T22:59:00.000-08:00

Where's Hans Blix when you need him?

2009-12-09T19:10:00.000-08:00

So I saw this story awhile ago but just put everything together. North Korea, and more specifically, its Chucky lookalike leader, have reportedly decided that they will censor the world cup. Their plan is to only show the games and results that show their team in a favorable light. Well this plan may work if they were in a group with the Solomon Islands, Charlie Weis and the Nets, but being they are in a group with the Ivory Coast, Brazil and Portugal, this might be tough. How exactly do they plan on doing this? I'd put the odds of North Korea scoring a goal at maybe twenty to one.
I suggest an alternative. Instead of censoring the games, just photoshop/fudge a couple details. When Didier Drogba scores in the 3rd minute, just put up a fact box that says while Didier Drogba is well known as one of the best center forwards in soccer, he was also the fourty fourth president of the United States. When Cristiano Ronaldo dives like it's spring break in cancun, just point out that he had relations with the american anti-christ "Paris Hilton". Finally, when Kaka finishes off his hat trick, just photoshop Dick Cheney's face over his.

Can't say i never helped you out Kimmy.

So this is the best a man can get?

2009-12-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

So let me get this straight...

Reger Federer is 7-13 vs. Nadal all time, and is struggling to stay fit and keep his form.

Thierry "Hand"ry doesn't appear regularly for Barcelona, and advances his country to the World Cup in doubious fashion.

And Tiger Woods is throwing his clubs, cursing at his galleries, bangin' chicks on road trips behind his wife's back (not to mention not wrapping up or asking if they're on the pill)

I better hear 3 good reasons why I shouldn't give my dad a Schick Quattro for Christmas...

Whitestripes Epidemic

2009-12-08T18:33:00.000-08:00

Please edit the following timelilne if incorrect:

2003 - Song "7 nation army" debuts by wwhitestripes
2004 - Named best rock song of the year by grammy award committee
2005 - Sweeps through european ultras in various forms
2007 - Added to themes played by penn states blue band at american college football competitions
2009 - Song spread... by various other universities (i.e. michigan, ole miss, arizona) in the american college football scene

I love college

2009-12-07T16:53:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, Florida basically lost any shot at a national title because their stud defensive lineman decided he likes drinking (hey!) on a weeknight more than he likes himself, his teammates, his university (etc., etc., etc...) Not just drunk and being startled at the time, but woken up by the cops at a stop light -not to mention the obvious aftermath of being an athlete on top of it all.

Since he was held back from even travelling, what do you think he did? Perhaps taste the salt of his tears as they slowly dissolved like the title hope for Florida? Or perhaps he delved into another set of evenings with alcohol? Food for thought, I wonder how alcohol tastes after that evening? Everytime you drink do you think of a national championship being wasted away?

Those better have better been the best tasting drinks you ever consumed and the best night you ever had out Carlos...

Strike a pose fellas...

2009-12-07T09:49:00.000-08:00

Sports Fans -

We here at "Dodgy as Feck" encourage our readers to make educated decisions in the critical areas of their livelihood...like who they think should win the Heisman. In the race that is arguably the most even (not to mention the least compelling) in recent history, we offer the following statistical analysis of the Heisman Trophy candidates listed in this weeks poll.

Tim Tebow, QB
Team record: 12-1 (8-0 SEC)
Passer Rating: 155.59 (65.2%, 5 int)
Total Yards: 3,272 (2,413 pass, 859 rush)
Total TD: 31 (18 pass, 13 rush)
Best game: 311 total yards, 81.0%, 5 TD, 0 int, 216.50 rating; 37-10 win vs. Florida St.
Worst game: 215 total yards, 54.5%, 1 TD, 2 int, 84.86 rating; 29-19 win at Mississippi St.
Form: Plagued by lofty expectiations coming into season; played within team's system, but rarely exceptional, and especially unimpressive in late loss to Alabama.

Colt McCoy, QB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 Big 12)
Passer Rating: 147.46 (70.5%, 12 int)
Total Yards: 3,860 (3,512 pass, 348 rush)
Total TD: 30 (27 pass, 3 rush)
Best game: 425 total yards, 78.0%, 5 TD, 0 int, 191.38 rating; 51-20 win vs. Kansas
Worst game: 160 total yards, 53.8%, 1 TD, 1 int, 84.53 rating; 16-13 win vs. Oklahoma
Form: Solid throughout; exceptional vs. Texas A&M, but unimpressive in games vs. Oklahoma and Nebraska.

Mark Ingram, RB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 SEC)
Rush Yards: 1,542 (6.2 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 322 (10.7 per catch)
Total TD: 18 (15 rush, 3 recieving)
Best game: 269 total yards, 10.3 per carry, 1 TD; 20-6 win vs. Soth Carolina
Worst game: 51 total yards, 1.9 per carry, 0 TD; 26-21 win at Auburn
Form: Developed increasing reputation throughout season, 2 minor hiccups vs. Auburn and Arkansas, won SEC Championship Game.

Toby Gerhart, RB
Team record: 8-4 (6-3 Pac 10)
Rush Yards: 1,736 (5.6 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 149 (14.9 per catch)
Total TD: 26 (all rush)
Best game: 223 yards rushing, 5.9 per carry, 3 TD; 51-42 win vs. Oregon
Worst game: 94 total yards, 4.8 per carry, 0 TD; 17-24 loss at Wake Forest
Form: Developed increasing reputation throughout season; 2 minor hiccups vs. Oregon State and Wake Forest, exceptionally strong finish.

CJ Spiller, RB/KR
Team record: 8-5 (6-2 ACC)
Rush Yards: 1,145 (5.7 per carry)
Recieving Yards: 445 (13.5 per catch)
KO Return Yards: 714 (34.0 per return)
Punt Return Yards: 208 (23.11 per return)
Total TD: 21 (11 rush, 4 recieving, 4 KO ret, 1 punt ret, 1 pass)
Best game: 301 all purpose, 11.7 per carry, 4 TD; 33-38 loss vs. Georgia Tech
Worst game: 114 all purpose, 3.1 per carry, 1 TD; 34-21 win win vs. Virginia
Form: Arguably fastest candidate with highest big play potential. Relies on special teams contributions.

Ndamukong Suh, DT
Team Record: 9-4 (6-2 Big 12)
Sacks: 12
Tackles: 82
Solo: 50
Tackles for loss: 19.5
Hurries: 22
Passes defended: 12
FG Blocked: 3
Best game: 12 tackles (10 solo), 4.5 sacks, 2 hurries, 2 passes defended; 12-13 loss vs. Texas
Worst game: 4 tackles (all solo), 2 TFL, 4 hurries; 10-31 loss vs. Texas Tech
Form: Defensive coordinated conceded defense isn't set up for his stats, but for him to take on 2 to 3 players instead; Gained acclaim as year progressed, helping Huskers to wins in 5 of their last 6; Most outstanding performance in only loss during the stretch, Big 12 Championship Game.

Kellen Moore, QB
Team record: 13-0 (8-0 WAC)
Passer Rating: 167.35 (64.8%, 3 int)
Pass Yards: 3,581
Total TD: 39 (38 pass, 1 rush)
Best game: 307 pass yards, 64.0%, 4 TD, 1 int, 211.95 rating; 48-0 win @ Miami (OH)
Worst game: 233 pass yards, 51.7%, 1 TD, 0 int, 130.59 rating; 52-21 win @ Utah State
Form: Solid throughout, albeit against weaker opposition.

If you think someone else is a quality candidate for consideration of the award, put it in the comment section along with why they are qualified.

Happy Monday all
The Dodgy Keeper

Be afraid Tiger...

2009-12-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

Quick, name where Alcorn State is...

2009-12-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

So I was looking over the basketball schedule of my beloved University of Kansas Jayhawks (although you might be confused by my colleagues several jabs at my following of the Golden Bears. I'm actually a fan of several colleges, Cal from my mother's side of the family, my grandpa worked there, and University of Kansas from my dad's side of the family, who are all from Kansas. And to make it all the more confusing, I didn't graduate from either.) and stumbled upon the score line that took place on December 2nd.
Alcorn State Braves- 31
Kansas Jayhawks- 98
How does that happen? There are so many facts from this game that are mind boggling that I feel i need to point out. First of all, It took the braves 15 minutes to get into double digits. I've literally grown beards in less time. At one point in the game, Alcorn State didn't score for seven minutes (at least the jayhawks did something during that time, scoring 37). This is boys playing against men or the nets playing against any other NBA team. Another thing I don't understand about this game, Alcorn State player Keith Searcy fouled out during this game. How does one foul out in this sort of a game? Without seeing this game, I'd assume that Alcorn State players were simply letting jayhawks run directly past them, while giving them a "good game" when they pass.
But I have to ask my dear jayhawks a question, why do you schedule this game? what's the point? Alcorn State isn't some sleeper that's just having a bad year. They've been bad for awhile. In the past ten years, they gotten to 10 win's 4 times. They haven't appoached a winning record since 2000. Last year they played two teams I've never even heard of and one I can't even guess how to prononce (William Carey and Tougaloo). Arkansas dropped 130 points on them earlier this year. I can't imagine that this gives your team confidence. It did give the guy at the end of Kansas's bench confidence that Bill Self still rembers his name (and on a side note, how low would your self esteem be if your you're a junior guard at KU and you only played 4 minutes? With 4 minutes left KU was up by 63, you could have put in George Jefferson and I in you still would have won by 40). In the long run, this game will probably lower your RPI, by a lot. This game only served to pad the stat's of the guard that's fifth on the depth chart (I'm talking about you Jordan Juenemann). Games like this don't give your trash minute dwellers any experience because there is no resemblance to a real game. Beat down Missouri or Nebraska and I'll be proud of you. Beat down Alcorn State (or the upcoming game against Radford) and I feel like I'm Nelson from the Simpson's.

Group of Death

2009-12-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

I feel the need to reiterate this line of thought...

At the moment, Group D is my Group of Death, despite what the experts have claimed. In regards to how it stacks up with Group G, it has greater overall quality in each of the 4 slots (re: no pushover...yes, that means you North Korea). This is evidenced by Group G's average ranking of 26.75 (I know, it's that stupid Coca-Cola system, but still), versus an average of 21 for Group D. Likewise, when you match up similar seeds from Group D with Group B - Serbia is stronger than Greece, Ghana has more established players and better chemistry than Nigeria, Australia has been beating up on South Korea in AFC national team and club competitions, and Germany is certainly on better form than Argentina. Why is nobody talking about this group?

Think about this logically people...

Saturday recap

2009-12-06T07:41:00.000-08:00

Enthusiasts -

A series of thoughts (chronologically organized) after Saturday's athletic activities...

- Portsmouths match early on proves once again that the ball never lies. (1:20 thru 2:10)

- Cesc and Lampard, you are both single handedly killing my chances in my paid EPL fantasy league...quit fecking up from the penalty spot!!!

- Cech: Dodgy as feck (even The Dodgy Keeper knows on a free kick, the keeper must cover their half while the wall gets the other, but that was basically down the center...if they get it up and down over it, good on 'em) Meanwhile in the rest of the match, it felt like the entire Chelsea squad picked up a caution in the loss to Man City.

- I bet my NCAA Men's Soccer bracket is in better shape than yours right now. Big ups to my boy at Akron for making it to the Final Four; now for the ACC portion of your non-conference schedule...

- Although I hate that conferences have championship games (I think everyone should play everyone once and that should suffice...which would mean no rediculous 12 team conferences), I found it neat that all 6 BCS conferences basically had conference championships late on. That being said, I also find it ironic that all were very competitive and came down to the last drive...except for the #1 vs. #2 matchup in the SEC?!

- Notre Dame, did you actually let your players decide whether they want to play in a bowl or not? You really have lost control...

- Tucsonans, how priceless was it watching the Wildcats beat USC at the Coliseum, then watch Jim Click accompany Mike Stoops during ABC's interview? (FYI, Click is a large regional car salesman) I would talk more about the Cats, but I'm still lamenting them being one play (out of many) away from going to the Rose Bowl.

As for the play of the day, have a look here for an extraordinary finish (despite the game not meaning much).

Somebody console The Puck and his Cal Golden Bears, it might be the Las Vegas Bowl for them. Enjoy the NFL.

Platapus, aka The Dodgy Keeper

Zach Galifianakis

2009-12-05T18:49:00.001-08:00

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Can't really tell if this is real or fact... but it is funny, and also confirms my suspicion that Charlize Theron is South Africa's hottest meth addict.

Joakim Noah's feelings are hurt

2009-12-05T14:24:00.000-08:00

You wouldn't like him when he gets angry. I'm pretty sure if anything started Shaq would just sit on him.

The Drogba Tree

2009-12-05T12:58:00.000-08:00

Is Didier Drogba the next Bono? If so, I nominate Nicholas Annelka to change his name to The Edge.

Pointyball talk (I caved in)

2009-12-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

Greetings intelectuals -

A few thoughts before tomorrow's American pointyball conference championships.

1) How did no BCS school figure out Dan LeFevour is a first rate athlete?
2) I hope my Wildcats can take down the Trojans in the Coliseum, and that the Golden Bears have trouble at Husky Stadium...The Puck won't like me for it though.
3) I can't decide whether I want Texas to fail miserably against Nebraska, or whether 5 teams should finish undefeated so that there's a concrete case for a playoff...(No, New Mexico State will not win on the smurf turf in Boise)
4) Florida vs. Alabama will be a great game, perhaps the biggest and best all season...and I still don't care.

I'll sort out my Heisman picks after the weekend. I'm still holding off on my rant regarding the Civil War...

Good evening all,
Platapus

Quick thought...

2009-12-04T18:01:00.000-08:00

If England gets full points from the first two games, can we get john terry to play goalkeeper again against slovenia?

Well done FIFA, well done...

2009-12-04T15:43:00.000-08:00

Greetings minions -

Welcome to "Dodgy as Feck", where myself and my co-creator The Puck will frequently share our thoughts on international athletics (chiefly at least, among assorted other topics). Likewise, through this media you can find yourself humored, question our lack of rational, say whatever you want in response...frankly, it doesn't matter. It's nice to have you along.

Obviously you all know that the draw for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa just came out. If not...you should probably catch up on athletic competition, generally speaking.

Before the draw, I have to say I was rather perplexed...CONCACAF teams could've gotten placed with CAF teams in Pot #2, right? There were 3 CONCACAF, 3 CONMEBOL, 5 CAF, and 5 AFC teams...since CONMEBOL was missing their top 2 seeded teams (Brazil, Argentina), were they really better than CONCACAF (US, Mexico, Honduras) and deserved to go in the same pot with the CAF teams? FIFA, you sat around and had meetings all week, yet still couldn't get things squared away (and that's not including your Thierry Hand-ry ordeal)...sort it the feck out. Other than that, my thoughts were that the Group of Death would have to include France, Portugal, or Serbia (...or all 3).

After the draw was released, my overall impressions by group:
A) The media keenly pointed out that no host has failed to get out of the group stage; I agree with them that South Africa won't make it, and sadly that's in an easy group too. I can't believe Mexico got this fortunate after looking so vulnerable in qualifying; I'll be embarassed for you if you don't qualify (and that's kind - typically I'd feel nothing toward your national side). If not, I'll be sure to pester your immigrated countrymen. Uruguay, count your lucky stars too, you're in the same boat as Mexico...I just know less immigrated countrymen of yours. And France - after all this trouble, you deserved the Group of Death the most. (And consider if the Irish had this spot? How mad are they right now...)

B) If there are 4 easy groups and 4 hard ones, this is a tough one. Argentina struggled through qualifying, but do you really want to line up against sky blue and white stripes on match day? I think not. South Korea is also a difficult side to match up with; obviously renowned for team speed, they are always well organized and close down ball and passing lanes well. Nigeria isn't nearly the side they used to be, but you never know which of these players will be the next big transfers in the European market. Although I couldn't think of even one player they had offhand (before "The Snake" keenly reminded me of Jon Mikel Obi), they are a group of raw talent not to be under estimated. Lastly, Greece famously won Euro 2004, and most of its players all play in the same league, know each other inside out, and are always well coached mentally and tactically. Any match in this group is critical to the overall outcome, but at least there there is some foreshadowing in one matchup...Ah, to relive the prowess of Batistuta...

C) Every World Cup needs at least one storyline with some politics behind it, and so far the opener of this match is it - the Yanks vs. the Red Coats (and I wonder if England will have to wear their red kits...?). Algeria advanced in a pressure situation over Egypt, so they aren't a pushover, but it seems they and Slov__ia (insert "en" where appropriate) relied on matches at home in order to qualify. Tough to see them making a splash at a neutral site.

D) Did any of these teams really want to draw one another? I highly doubt that. For obvious reasons, no one wants to play Germany when you look at their starting XI. Add their solid qualifying campaign and their current form, and they are as formidable as ever. Some would say Australia is the cupcake in the group, but in their first time in AFC they rolled through competition (Iraq, AFC Cup Champion; China, recent qualifier; Japan, traditional power) virtually unscathed. Serbia took the more talented athletes from Mentenegro and destroyed their group in UEFA qualifying, taking France to the brink. And Ghana is one of the CAF teams from Pot#3 that no one wanted to face. (Do you want to match up with Michael Essien? Got someone on your national team that can? Yeah, didn't think so...good luck with that.)

E) The Netherlands qualified before anyone else did I believe, and by the end of the World Cup you know that the player's on their side you don't know will be coveted by the allied Big 14 clubs in UEFA. Japan is a side similar to South Korea; fast and tactically sound. They've proven on the world stage that they are never a roll over. Similarly, despite the lack of names on this version of Cameroon's squad, they are all developed under the mindset of the "Indominable Lions". Surely Samuel Eto'o will take his last appearance on this stage with the ultimate seriousness, and you will see many faces from this side transfer to UEFA clubs after the tournament. Lastly, Denmark has the majority of its players playing domestically and they have a good understanding for one another. The Danish League's competitiveness in the UEFA Champions League indicates their potential.

F) Simply put, Italy: you belong in the same category as Mexico as well. I can heckle your immigrated countrymen as well, but because of my heritage I'd like to stray from this if possible. That being said, if you fail miserably, I won't feel sorry for Giuseppe Rossi. (NOT ONE FECKING BIT!!!) Paraguay always plays well as a cohesive unit, look for them to do well after a solid qualifying campaign. New Zealand, good luck; hopefully this time when you score 3 on Italy, you don't give up 4 (and 2 in the final minutes nonetheless...see 2009 Confederations Cup warmup). Slov__ia (use "ak" this time kids) could quietly sneak up on any of these teams here, as it achieved certain impressive results in qualifying.

G) I don't want to add more hype than the media has already brought to this group, although it's easy to see why. Brazil's play is like many of the internationally acclaimed women that come from there - typically easy on the eyes, usually do good work in their field, and more often than not produce results that meet expectations. That being said, they will have to compete with the Ivory Coast and Portugal. See my "Essien" statement above and consider Drogba and Toure comparable. Add in an undefeated qualifying run and add an estimate for the talent that isn't a household name yet, and you're stirring a pot on the verge of boiling over. Despite Portugal's struggle to qualify, you know the matchup between the Portugese countries here will be compelling. If someone can get under Cristiano's skin, I wouldnt be shocked if it's Lucio or another Brazilian defender. Notice how I didn't say anything about competition with North Korea? You probably figured it wasn't worth it either...

H) Here's my preliminary line -
Spain, Pld-3, W-3, D-0, L-0, GF-10, GA-1, GD-+9, Pts-9. Cakewalk, even when the other Spanish-speaking sides solve their mysterious lisp. The Swiss, while being at a linguistic disadvantage against the other Spanish-speakers, will hold their own with a young squad. Chile had a surprisingly strong qualifying run, and can also make a legitimate run to get out of the group with a series of young talent that has done well during recent youth international tournaments. As for Hondouras...well, without major international experience on the roster, they might be best off trying to fend off being overwhelmed by the big stage and just enjoy the event and the national recognition that comes with it.

As 6 months pass, I'm sure we will all analyze more and perspectives will change.

At the moment, Group D is my Group of Death, despite what the experts have claimed. In regards to how it stacks up with Group G, it has greater overall quality in each of the 4 slots (re: no pushover...yes, that means you North Korea). This is evidenced by Group G's average ranking of 26.75 (I know, it's that stupid Coca-Cola system, but still), versus an average of 21 for Group D. Likewise, when you match up similar seeds from Group D with Group B - Serbia is stronger than Greece, Ghana has more established players and better chemistry than Nigeria, Australia has been beating up on South Korea in AFC national team and club competitions, and Germany is certainly on better form than Argentina. Why is nobody talking about this group?

Anyway, in regard to major American sports, I considered discussing some pointyball, particularly that of the Civil War in my former home state. However, with college games yet to play this weekend and bowl season around the corner, I'm sure I will have plenty more to say later on. Maybe my fine comerade will even address it then again...

Enjoy the conference championships,
Platapus (aka The Dodgy Keeper)

Knee Jerk Draw Reactions

2009-12-04T15:42:00.000-08:00

So I've gotten to digest the draw for a couple hours and here are my not very well researched, immediate reactions:

The draw seemed pretty fair to most (as long as you don't speak portugese). Every group seems to have the one favorite, the one team that probably will advance and then two teams most people will count out (see groups A, C, D, E, F and H).
Can we start an online petition to require both teams to wear wooden boots for the Denmark vs. Netherlands fixture?
Did Charlize Theron seemed a little high to anybody else?
Game's I'm most excited to watch: Argentina vs. Greece, can Maradona figure out how to coach a soccer team and unpark the bus that Greece will have parallel parked in front of the goal? America vs. England, can we get those goofy guys who dress up like minutemen for New England Revolution games to travel? Brazil vs. Ivory Coast, Drogba (who is both in form and becoming strangly likable) and Kalou going against Kaka and Luis Fabiano, that's gonna be a good game.
Team's I think are gonna disappoint: I'm gonna go out on a "lamb" here and say that Germany is gonna be surprised. I think that Ghana and Serbia are underrated. Also, Germany was largely helped by playing at home in 2006. I think the Ivory Coast is gonna move on, probably surprising Portugal. I'm not sold on Ronaldo's ability to show up on international duty.
The US needs to figure out who are gonna be playing outside backs. I get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking of joe cole, ashley cole and theo walcott running at jonathan bornstein and steve cherundolo. Paging Senor Edgar.
My sleeper: I think Honduras are going to surprise and advance. I think they underacheived in qualifying and central american venues are good preperation for world cup's.
My world cup betting tip: Always pick the team with the most connections to Sven Ericksson.... unless its mexico, then pick the other team.

I'll probably think of some other thoughts later.